I was at the airport and, as the crowd gathered round the baggage claim area, I observed 3 airport personnel helping various passengers needing wheelchair assistance. The 3 women appeared to be acting in a way that was courteous and helpful. After leaving the assisted passengers, the women gathered over by the wall directly behind me. I overheard one woman say "see, I told you they could walk". Another woman replied "yeah, it's always the same; they have us run around when they can do it for themselves".

My observations and thoughts about how well these 3 airport personnel had performed their job changed instantly. I wondered where we learn to judge people's abilities. I thought of the walk that I had just taken from the plane to the baggage area and how long of a walk it was. If I had mobility issues or fatigue issues, it would have been extremely difficult to make that walk.

We have to check our biases and assumptions on a regular basis. We can not judge people. Those who have a disability are often disproportionately stereotyped, judged and discriminated against. When we are not aware of our judgements and when we give ourselves permission to place our assumptions on others, these unconsciously play out in the work we do. These assumptions and judgements then, do not allow us to reach our full potential as human beings. It starts with each one of us, embracing acceptance. The acceptance will open doors for people, tear down barriers, reduce negativity and create a better climate.

"Well hi there sexy!" This is the welcome message that appears on my cell phone every time I turn it on. Some may say this is vain but truthfully, I smile when I see it on the screen. I will let you in on a secret…when I am having a tough moment or need to remember to breathe, I have found myself purposefully turning the phone off and back on again just to see the message. Then, I laugh.

We are often our worst critic - seeing all of the negatives in our life situation or our physical appearance or our work environment. We may focus on the bad stuff and perhaps engage in negative self talk not realizing the impact on our self-esteem. A good self-esteem impacts our ability to feel happy, it affects our relationships, our ability to ask for help, it allows us to set goals and create accomplishments and is important to our overall well-being. According to WebMD.com, there is evidence you can change your self-esteem by engaging in the following activities:

• stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself
• beware of perfectionism
• overlook mistakes
• stop putting yourself down
• try new things
• do something for others
• know what you can change and accept the things you cannot change
• exercise daily
• remember that no one can make you feel bad only you can make yourself feel bad

Increasing your self-esteem can lead to more constructive thoughts, more upbeat feelings and an unwaivering belief in yourself. When you have these, you will create positive actions and outcomes. You will feel better. You will accomplish more. You will love your life. It can be as easy as turning on your cell phone - so go ahead - improve your self-esteem!

I teach problem solving skills to people all of the time and I usually start out with a couple quotes or thoughts:

1. Mediocre managers spend a lot of time problem solving, great managers facilitate problem solving.
2. The only person who can solve the problem is the person with the problem

There was a little boy who was transitioning from daycare to a JK program. Let's call him Jake.
When Jake was in daycare, he never exhibited any concerning behaviours. His teachers found him to be a very happy and pleasant child.
When Jake started attending his JK program, the teachers wrote home and called the parents frequently because Jake began peeing on the wall.
Everyone was concerned, the teachers continued to send home notes about Jake's behaviour, the parents were considering counselling for Jake, the school was going to consult a behaviour therapist and so on.

The daycare teacher sat Jake on her lap one day and said "hey buddy - I hear you have been missing the toilet". Jake sort of hung his head and said "yes". The daycare teacher said "what's up?" Jake looked straight at her and said "I can't reach"!
The daycare teacher then clued in - at daycare, the toilets were sized for small children, at JK the toilet was much bigger. She picked up Jake and a stepping stool and went down to the JK room. "Try this" she said.
Guess what - Jake stopped peeing on the wall because he could finally reach the toilet!

Sometimes, we forget that we need to ask the person with the problem. Because Jake was only four, we forgot to involve him in finding a solution. I couldn't teach this lesson any better if I tried - we need to engage our clients in the problem solving process. We can't provide solutions to people, it simply won't work. If however, we facilitate the problem solving process, hear the person's perspective and look at options together, we will have success.

"Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors, doing new things and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths". Walt Disney

I use this quote a lot in my training. Sometimes, I get a reaction and sometimes, it silences the crowd.

Change is all around us all of time; it is faster and faster making it more difficult to stay happy. I know of many examples where individuals and organizations get stuck in the past. From these people and in these organizations come phrases like "we used to…", "it was better when…", "our old system let us…" and "why can't we do it the old way". The energy this "life in the past" creates is often one of negativity in an environment that changes rapidly.

At first, change can be uncomfortable and may even feel scary or create tension and anxiety. However, change is a catalyst for discovering things about ourselves and uncovering our possibilities and potential. I recently attended a leadership conference where I heard Liz Murray, author of Homeless to Harvard, speak. She said you have two choices: resentment or gratitude. Needless-to-say, this statement really resonated with me. I think it is very applicable when we look at the change around us and how we deal with it. You can spend your time resenting the changes or you can be grateful for the opportunity, for new possibility and for the potential for new growth. It is your choice. One feels a lot better than the other.

My mother-in-law passed away on June 24, 2009 at the age of 82. She wasn't ill, she went out on the balcony to sit and enjoy her morning coffee and somewhere in those quiet moments, she died peacefully. The tranquility I am describing in her moments before she died is contradictory to how she left things with her family. She died having alienated some of the people closest to her. Her passing brought heavy reflection as I listened to the memories, both happy and sad, but mostly unresolved questions, emotions and even resentments. Overall, there was a lot of time in my mother-in-law's life that was dedicated to being "right", there was a pattern passed on to her family of punishing one another by not forgiving.

Many people have written lately about operating on a higher level of energy; getting back from the universe what you put out (Rhonda Byrnes and James Ray are a few of my favourites). Resentment is not a high energy level. It will eat you up and hold you captive in a prison of negative emotion. Forgiveness is a higher energy level. It doesn't mean that someone else's actions were acceptable but it means that you make a conscious choice not to let the action continue to hurt you. Being "right" and punishing someone else by holding onto the resentment really only hurts you. You can choose not to forgive but recognize that you have made a conscious choice to continue being imprisoned in negativity (T. Harv Ecker speaks of this concept in his Wealth Series - Perspective and the Power of Forgiveness). When you forgive, you make a conscious choice to be a bigger person and operate on a higher level. Forgiveness allows us to release the negative and find a way forward.

In the story I began with, my mother-in-law's death, I hope those alienated by her will be able find that higher level so that they will experience the abundance life has to offer with joy and gratitude. May the single swan have found you now Herma and may you spend your days enjoying the Rideau.

Scripts are written to our unconscious. They are formed by family or peers and they create our beliefs that either support our success or stifle it. When you start to pursue your own personal greatness or potential, there will be people around you who try to stop your progress. People around you don't want you to change because it makes them uncomfortable and pushes them to the unknown. People around you don't want to see you fail so they tell you not to pursue your personal greatness and not to pursue success. We take those scripts and repeat them to ourselves. Scripts in your life may have echoed the following:

• You can't do that, you'll kill yourself
• You shouldn't give away the clothes that are too big because you will just gain the weight back anyway
• Who are you kidding? You can't accomplish that.
• You don't deserve this
• Money is the root of all evil

• You can succeed at something without killing yourself
• You have kept the weight off and look great
• You are worthy of having a fantastic life and you can accomplish great things
• You deserve good things in life
• Money helps you to live the life you desire

We went to Disney World earlier this year. Now, the magic and wonder of such a fantastic place could make up a hundred "life according to me" posts but, what I want to focus on for a minute was the theme "Celebrate". Disney had buttons for anything you might be celebrating - 1st visit, birthday, anniversary, or life. My husband and I were celebrating our anniversary and my daughter was celebrating her 1st visit. As we walked through the park that day, Disney staff (cast members) and the general public went out of their way to recognize these celebrations. We didn't pass one cast member without hearing "Happy Anniversary". A park photographer noticed my daughter's 1st visit button and gave her a Tinkerbelle trading pin which read "Just wanted to spread the magic by giving you this exclusive Pixie Dust pin. After all, this is the place where dreams come true". It was an amazing feeling to have everyone celebrating with us. The wishes of others added to the memories of our day.

I was thinking, we really don't celebrate enough - not the "party like you're a rock star" kind of celebrate but the "it's a great life" kind of celebration. Not only do we miss opportunities to celebrate our success and the great things in our life, we miss the chance to celebrate the success of others. Think of the feeling you get when you are in a mode of celebration and how much better that feels than finding fault or being negative. What if we found the positive and focused on the good? What if we looked for reasons everyday to celebrate with others? When is the last time you can remember celebrating the success of others as if it were your own? When is the last time you felt like everyone wanted to celebrate with you? How amazing would that be? To borrow the ad from Disney: What will you celebrate?

"some people find fault like there is a reward for it!" Zig Ziglar

To those of you who read my posts regularly, I do apologize for being behind. I have had a really successful year which is great for me and unfortunate for the regular posting of "Life According to Me"! I appreciate your continued support and checking in on the site. I hope you will continue to check in. Enjoy this one….

I know a person or two who complain of everything under the sun: owing money, not having enough work, having to work too hard, having a daily crisis, etc. This same person or two often has many excuses. Now, no doubt, that could sound like a number of people you know too. One day, I was asked by such a person: "given your job and what you do for a living, how do I change mine? What is your advice". My advice, plain and simple, was this: You have to be willing to show up for life! Put in the effort. Tell the Universe you're here and do what you need to do!

I heard James Ray and Jim Honsberger speak in a tele-seminar where they stated: "people dwell on what has happened, in the economy and in politics. People dwell on mistakes made. The only thing that is going to work is stopping to ask yourself, what am I going to do about it?".

Complaining and living in the past, whether it be a minute or a year, won't move you forward. You have got to take action. We all have a part in making life be what it has the potential to be. You have, we all have, the ability to create a life we deserve. Start simple - show up for life! A new year is approaching, time for reflection, resolutions and starting over - What are you going to do about it?