Life according to me...March 26, 2008

Letting external appearances define you means that people miss out on seeing what is inside. No one will be remembered for the piercing they refused to take out or the shoes they had to have but rather for the person they were and how they affected those around them.

Embracing leadership means that we always have to be aware of how we affect others. Sometimes, in the interest of forging a positive relationship we have to adapt our way of operating to a way which motivates others. In the interest of being a leader, we have to find out what will engage others around us.

Murphy's Law: "Do not argue with a fool, people may not recognize the difference."

Life according to me... April 25, 2008

We recently acquired a DVR for our TV and I am enamoured! (I know the concept of recording shows is not a new one but it has been so long since I had a VCR that had the capacity to find all of the channels available today let alone one that would record several shows at the same time.) I love fast forwarding through the commercials and being in control of when I watch TV. I love not having to abide by the times major networks and various advertisers tell me I need to watch TV.
It is refreshing when a "convenience" surprisingly contributes to a good life balance! I find we are often hindered by the freedom we aim to have through email, voicemail, instant messaging, hand held devices and other "conveniences".
When I look around, people are "wired" all of the time. Cell phones and email make us available 24/7. Time management often takes a dive in the face of technological conveniences because we find ourselves compelled to respond to email alerts on hand-held devices or on our computers immediately. Soon, we spend all day interacting with our "conveniences" rather than with the people around us.
Instead of controlling our own life, life beings to control us and soon we are so swamped, we don't know how to get out.
Try to organize times in the day when you will return calls and respond to email. Then, unplug, shut off and/or power down once in a while, it is good for the soul and you'll gain a better control of life (you may even notice the finer things life has to offer!) A good balance is something we can all use.

"A manager who spends 80% of their time in their office is not managing well" (unknown source).

Life according to me... May 22, 2008

Recently, I was convinced to join the world of Facebook. I was really hesitant because I had heard how many people contact you, connect with you and find you. Sometimes, I think about my past and I think I don't want to be found.

Perhaps, you have had similar experiences. There may be regrets from the past, things you wish you could change, people you hope never contact you, fears about what others know about you or resentments about what others have done to you. When these thoughts creep in, I stop to remember that I am who I am today because of all of the experiences I have had, the people with whom I have interacted and the situations I have been through. Anything bad only served as a learning opportunity, anything stupid made me wiser and anything good made life even better than I thought possible.

Let all that holds you in the past go. Embrace who you are. Like whom you are and others around you will like you too.

"We treat people how to treat us" Dr. McGraw

"Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning. True forgiveness = thank you for that opportunity" James Ray

I have spent a lot of time driving up and down the 401 over the past few months. I have had the opportunity to see the view go from baron trees and grey landscape to new buds, blooming flowers and plush green trees.

Seeing this, I am reminded of how beautiful life is. Sometimes, this world can seem like a pretty crazy place and I find myself checking the calendar saying "we are in 2008 right? Haven't we figured it out yet?"

Then I hear my baby giggle, I notice a flower, I see a rainbow in the sky or I have the opportunity to watch the sun set as my baby drifts of to sleep and I feel a sense of wonder. I am filled with gratitude and I remember that it really is a "wonderful world"(thanks Louis Armstrong for such a great reminder)

"You have a gift of 86400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you"?" William A. Ward

I would like to share a short story that appears in Vitamin C for a Healthy Workplace written by Luke De Sadeleer and Joseph Sherren…

" In our work as trainers and management consultants, …We look around and frequently find framed posters of the organization's vision or mission statement that quite regularly contains a statement that says, "People are our number one resource" …
[Then] we ask, "How often do you enroll your people in personal development programs, or let them get together at a conference so they can learn from each other and share experiences?" Unfortunately, some of them say, "We don't have time for that", or "It's not in the budget this year."

Then we point to vehicles in the parking lot, with the company name on the side, and ask, "Do you ever take you company trucks in for maintenance?" They usually reply, indignantly: "Certainly! We always ensure they are running efficiently, and safely." Our response is, "In that case, you should change your statement to "Trucks are our number one resource."

It seems that some organizations put more effort and money into looking after their vehicles, than they do their people.''

When I read this I thought "how perfect and so true". We may say our people are our most important asset but words do not replace action. Take stock - when is the last time you found out what motivates your staff? How do you show them that they are important and valued within the company?

Knowing what motivates someone can as valuable as a cash commodity. We might believe that money is our only motivator. While it is true that most all of us need and want money for the basic necessities of life, I have read that even if you received the biggest raise of your life, it would only take four pays until you were no longer motivated by that amount of money and in fact, you would now expect that that amount was what you were worth. You would have that expectation if you went to another employer or position. It would follow then that there must be other motivators. "Never assume that you know what motivates someone" (source: Blanchard, Whale Done, p.61).

Some people will be motivated by time off thereby having quality time to spend with family or engaged in activities they enjoy. Other people will be motivated by meaningful gifts or rewards for example certificates of completion, service awards, lunches or gift certificates. There will be staff who are motivated by encouragement and supportive actions, empathy and gratitude. Still others would prefer you to do something for them e.g. Bring them a coffee, allow them some extra time at the end of a day, send them to a seminar etc. Regardless of the motivator, knowing what it is that motivates someone shows that you are contributing to the meaningfulness of the relationship. Positive relationships will enhance communication and productivity. The quality of the relationship will also be what makes people stay.

• meet with staff on a one-one basis regularly
• discuss motivators and learn who the staff is as a person. What do they do when they are not at work? Find ways to remember items of importance to your staff (even if it means adding it to your contact information in your email program)
• discuss strengths, needs and professional goals frequently. Do not wait for the annual, designated time for performance reviews
• provide opportunities for training, special projects or assignments, committee work, mentoring, conferences etc.
• share the wealth -provide opportunities for all staff! Meet with the star performers, the average performer and the mediocre employees on an equal basis.

Changing relationship status? Click here. Sometimes it seems so simple to dispose of a relationship. With one click of a mouse you can go from married to single in the world of Facebook. I seem to run into more and more people who are just giving up on their relationships because they are "not happy" however, in my opinion, they have done little to examine what would make them happy and even less to communicate their unhappiness to their partner in a constructive way.
Don't get me wrong, I know there are "deal breakers" (McGraw) such as abuse and affairs for example but I am talking about just giving up. Relationships take work. They are not to be taken so lightly. Whether personal or work relationships, there are some key things to look at:
Focus on the positive:
Being overly critical of someone leads to more criticism, more "shoulds" and more demands. The more you say - "I am not in love" or "I don't like this person", the more this is your reality. When you shift your thinking to focus on what is right and what is good about the relationship, it allows the more positive thoughts to come through.
For example, list things you appreciate about the person or what they have done and tell them daily at least one of the things you appreciate. Don't wait for perfection - comment positively on the steps taken. In other words, "Work from a perspective of catching people doing things right rather than a gotcha perspective of catching people doing something wrong" (Blanchard, 2002).
How to respond positively (adapted from PACE, Queens Printer Ontario):
Identify what you like about the situation and come up with as many likes as possible. Communicate these likes.
If there are concerns, identify the concern and think of ways of overcoming the concern. Involve the other person in ways to overcome the concern.
Look at each solution for its possibility/feasibility. Using this process will decrease the emotion attached to a situation and creates a positive way to look at a situation.

The people in the United States defaulting on their "sub-prime" mortgages is said to be the initial cause of the current world wide financial crisis. Yes, I know that is an over simplification but I believe that it is in fact a smoke screen hiding the real reason for the financial crisis.

They would have us believe that In order to stop the "domino effect" of financial failures of banks, etc. the U.S. and other countries began a bail out of the banks. The money, of course had to come from the tax payers to save all these businesses.

Now, I want to say this… "I was born at night but it wasn't last night!" How can we be expected to believe there is a financial crisis when we read about the financial cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

A recent paper a group of Democrats on the U.S. congressional Joint Economic Committee released estimates the total long-term cost of operations in Iraq and Afghanistan will range between $2.6 trillion and $4.5 trillion, depending on how quickly forces are drawn down. Similarly, Canada has already spent $7.7 billion to $10.5 billion on costs related to its mission in Afghanistan in the past six years.

And…

According to "The Fiscal Impact of the Canadian Mission in Afghanistan" tabled by parliamentary budget officer Kevin Page recently, Canada may spend $13.9 billion to $18.1 billion by the end of the 2010-11 budget year. All of the above figures have been found through internet searches and I can't say how accurate they are. In my opinion the numbers are likely lower than the actual costs.

The question that begs to be asked is this "How can the defaulting of the sub prime mortgages in the United States trigger a world wide financial crisis that puts us on the brink of a depression, but the cost of the wars being waged are not considered to be a contributing factor?"

I say this… "End the damned wars! Bring the troops home and use the money earmarked for the war effort to correct the economic quagmire that we are now facing."

Les Vale